Belly

Growing up, I never felt comfortable in my own skin (and I still frequently dont.) When I was a kid (and well into my 20s) people always commented on my body, what I was wearing, did I look nice enough, pretty enough, sexy enough. And I know I'm not alone in this. When Amanda asked me to make this piece, I thought about how this fear of my own body has impacted the way I move through the world. I began the piece by reaching out on social media and asking for other people's stories of things that have been said to them that stuck with them. The result was an outpouring of memories, from both men and women. I've structured the piece in three sections to match the three categories that emerged in these memories: youth, adulthood, and the feeling of invisibility that often accompanies aging. The music for each section is inspired by one of three medieval humors. Medieval physicians believed that an excess of these humors created imbalanced emotions. The first section is an excess of blood, leading to excitement (and associated with youth).The second is an excess of yellow bile, leading to anger.The third is an excess of black bile, leading to melancholy (this word is actually derived from the name of the humor itself)."