What It Could Be with Hope and Joy

Joy - the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune, or by the prospect of possessing what one desires “What It Could Be with Hope and Joy” was written in response to a prompt to write music about the emotion of Joy for Marie Humburger as part of her graduate work of commissioning new works based around various emotions. In 2024, the world, particularly mine, was one with not very much Joy. I had initially felt little motivation to write music about an emotion I wasn’t feeling. Instead, I decided to make my piece about joy at the expense of others. As a Gay Jewish person, I have become much more aware of how these two communities are used as scapegoats (regardless of viewpoints), and this often leads to rights being taken away because other communities feel threatened by our existence, and the only way that they can feel secure, which leads to a false sense of joy, is by blaming someone else. I learned several life lessons connected to interpersonal relationships with other people, which led to a lot of pain. Still, I absolutely had the experience of joy throughout these experiences. It led me to the stark realization that I am a dreamer. I am a what-if person. I am incredibly hopeful, and even with setbacks, the amount of hope I have for humanity, be it globally, locally, or interpersonally, has kept me optimistic and genuinely an open-minded and happier individual. Despite these setbacks, particularly with interpersonal relationships and global events, I am still hopeful, which brings me Joy. Being proud of my identity brings me Joy. Knowing that while I am not always accepted by all people, members of these communities will accept me brings me Joy. The first movement reflects how I felt at the beginning of the composition. Moving forward quickly, on alert, desperate, and concerned. The piano presents a driving rhythmic persona while the saxophone yells for help. The relentlessness of the descending lines in their various forms, be it the melodic figures or the downward arpeggios, reflects the emotions connected to a sense of hopelessness and lack of joy. This opening movement is where I was when I started composing. By the second movement, I began reflecting on how to overcome this sadness and anger. But with hope presents a wish for stability and presents loosely as a Passacaglia, steady and unwavering, but with a sense of progress which leads up to joy. The 4+5 meter presents a slight duality, but one side has more strength than the other. That strength may or may not disappear, but acceptance of that can lead to a sense of resolution. By the third movement, I realized that hope can lead to joy, but joy is a more complex emotion than pure happiness. The definition above includes the phrase “the prospect of good fortune,” which implies that without hope, there is no joy and that fortune may or may not occur in the way imagined, but that does not mean acceptance of who we need versus who they are cannot lead to joy. The descending arpeggio figure still exists. The problems don’t just disappear. I am reminded of a video I recently saw online explaining how trauma is healed. A glass of dark brown liquid exists and is put under the faucet, representing the work it takes to heal. The dark brown liquid remains and sits under the faucet for quite some time before the glass becomes transparent. I imagine Joy for many of us exists like this. It takes work and does not happen immediately, but you must also choose to experience Joy. - Spencer Arias